This is not about running.

This is a metaphor for life.

Whatever it is, let it become you by knowing what you’re not.

The other day, for the first time, running became me.

Each run is almost always faced with internal limitations, which arise from the body in the form of thoughts, “pain, limitation of how fast it is, how long it can endure, will it hurt, will it be out of breath, will it keep pace, others can run, but not you.”

But today is different. In every other run, I usually remind myself in my own mind: I am not these thoughts. I tell the Truth about these limitations flocking in the mind like birds. I’m not that, I say… I am energy. And it helps, but my thoughts usually win at the end of it all.

Today is very different. My intention is different today, like my heart decided I was more of a runner today than any other. When I tell the truth today, my body continues to carry me and I notice that today my legs move in longer strides somehow. I observed how I felt. I should be tired. I felt fine. I felt great. I felt more feeling of a love to run today than ever before. My longer strides do not ruin the pace. My intention has made me stronger. My feeling is supporting me deeper in the run. I feel less connected to thoughts.

Until I reach a barrier… reaching a point along my path that felt like a barrier, a destination along my normal path I’d only ventured past once before, and never while running alone, I dared to keep going. I chose to move forward despite the limiting thoughts. I am not this thought. I am not this body to even be feeling tired. And my body continued. And as I kept going, my body was feeling more tired, I felt I could not keep going much longer. My thoughts kept asking me, “ok but now you can’t, seriously we’re reaching the end.”  And soon I began to believe these thoughts. And soon I finally reached a point along my path where I felt I could not keep going, my body could not keep going. I felt the barrier. I felt the barrier in what my body was capable of, what it could and could not do. I could feel the thoughts convincing me that I can’t. But I am not these thoughts. But I am not this body.

And something within welled up from the depths of my being as if years of pressurizing limitations and frustrations from being held back in form rose to the surface of my being. But I am not this body, I said again to myself with a surging force of power and in the moment, the feeling of desperation to break free erupted like a volcano inside me. “I am not these thoughts,” the feeling seemed to scream out of pain and also out of joy. “I am not this limitation,” I said to myself the feeling now daring to wail within. And then it happened, something that has never happened before. Like a slowly building flash of lightning, the feeling growing in the first crying out reverberating through my being shot out to the entire universe, and in a flash the limitation broke like a levy holding back water of a damn. A surge of electricity full of love came through into my whole being, filling me up like a cup… like power… like presence… flow, love,  joy… the infinite dance of a liberated moment suspended in a timeless moment of freedom, my soul enveloped by the moment all coalescing from years of potential flying freely.

The flow took the body I inhabit. The flow carried me. I was no longer a body running. Running became me and no thoughts of limitation could break the stride of love coursing through my veins running my body. There was no existence of myself or my body or energy between them. And the body in which running became smiled an expression uncontainable with the lips of love, of flow. My body is not a sprinter, but sprinting became me in that moment. It ran me faster. I did not force the sprint out of trying because I thought it would be epic or my idea of success. Sprinting became me when I let go of who it is I thought I was from an inner depth. I am not this body. I am not these thoughts. I am not limitation. I am the one.

This is not about running.

This is a metaphor for life.

Tell the Truth about who you are not. You don’t need confidence. You don’t need to know that you “can”. You don’t need to set goals in your mind. You need to know what you’re not. Then you will experience what you are.

One thought on “You need to know what you’re not… to become what you are

  • June 7, 2012 at 8:03 pm
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    Noice Kirra – I like it! May you surrender ever more deeply to the runner in you, and more importantly – the writer in you. Thanks for sharing – a pleasure to read…xx

    Reply

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