Why you don’t have “it”

“It” is anything you would love to have.

Well, why don’t you have it?

Because you have not decided to have it. If you really decided to have it, you wouldn’t think about it anymore. You wouldn’t wonder how or when as if it wasn’t going to happen one way or another in due time. You would know that you were on the way to having it.

When you make a true decision*…

NOTE *true decision = 1. of the heart. It’s not just a “want” that comes from fulfilling your insecurities. 2. A real desire, one that is pure and deserving (even if you don’t think you deserve it). 3. One that goes beyond the possibilities of your circumstances because you really love it.

When you make a true decision, usually one of a few things happen:

Maybe a creative idea comes to your mind while you’re running, in the middle of yoga, looking out at the ocean, driving in traffic, or while you’re in the shower.**

NOTE ** I know that creative ideas and/or possibilities will open up when I make a true decision because I’m completely open to unheard of possibilities AND open to taking the next step in following my intuition. If you’re stuck in “woe is me land” you will prevent creative ideas from arising. There will be no space in your mind because you’ll be busy thinking about how you can’t have it or how to make it happen logically.

When you simply stay open, it’s as if new energy begins forming around the decision you’re making and all of a sudden you start thinking of all these amazing possibilities. They may or may not relate to the decision you’ve just made. They could relate to making money or your business, or it could just be an idea for how you could facilitate what you want to have.

Example: I might want to buy a car and start making $500 a month payments, or pay for it in full. I might get an idea to start a new business, or do something new in the business I’m in. Or, consider a new opportunity in my life or a new job. Or, I might even ask for a salary increase if I’m an employee and come up with a plan for why I deserve it. Or, I might remember that my expenses in another area of my life are about to go down/end.

It’s a different possibility every single time. That’s why I don’t think about how. I don’t know how. My thinking mind that considers “how” is always limited. So I leave it to the unlimited, which is the same place that creativity comes from. 

Two: you do nothing because there is nothing to do (yet).
No ideas or creative energy comes to act on (yet, it may come later), but you don’t lessen your resolve to have it. You’ve already made the decision. Maybe this decision doesn’t require any action. The important thing is you’ve made a decision. That’s it.

The opportunity comes through your circumstances that you could have never imagined.

Example 1: I once was going to book a flight from Hawaii to California, but I didn’t have the money. I also didn’t have any miles that I remembered at the time, but when I signed onto my Hawaiian air miles account, I had just the amount of miles that would buy the ticket.

Example 2: I was booking a trip to Italy and required about $2,500 extra that month, outside of my normal salary. And I didn’t have that extra money just sitting around. But I made the decision that I was going to be there no matter what. And within a week, a new business opportunity landed in my lap covering that expense and more. I didn’t go out and contact anyone or take any actions in that case. Or, in other cases, someone had sent me money that they owed me from the past. Or in other cases, a check payment owed me was larger than expected.

IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE. You just decide.

But if you aren’t used to doing this, here’s how you’ll block the possibilities:

1a) You start looking at your circumstances.
You think they are set and they won’t change. They do and they absolutely will when you make a true decision. No really, they absolutely will when you make a decision that’s true for you.

(Don’t take my word for it, I know that to be true because I’ve experienced it over and over again.)

1b) You start thinking it’s not possible… 
because of your circumstances (because you don’t know who you truly are. *** [see footnote below]).

Here’s what happens when you start thinking it’s not possible: you talk yourself out of your decision and the feeling of possibility that originally came with having “it.”

2) You limit money because you judge money.
Maybe you’ve seen things come to fruition in your life without you having to pay for it. And that was useful to you for a while because you needed to see how things are possible without money, but now that’s become limited for you. You’ve become reliant on not paying for it. And maybe you’ve judged money as evil on some level. At some point, you’ll have to see that money isn’t good or bad, unless you want to stay limited around money. That’s ok, too.

3) Having “it” isn’t really important to you.
Maybe you’re making it about things that don’t really matter because you don’t want to put your heart on the line with what does really matter.

4) You start bullshitting yourself.
You start telling yourself sh$t like:
-I must not believe in myself enough yet,
-I don’t love myself enough yet,
-I’ve been bad or done things in my life lately that mean I don’t deserve this enough yet, OR…
-if it’s meant to happen, it will happen (I don’t ever need to take action)



-OR YOU START THINKING WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE IT AND DESERVE IT but avoid making a real decision. Why? A decision doesn’t require justification. A decision isn’t bargaining. It’s taking something inside of you that you would love, and making it into an experience.

Love doesn’t require any reasons or justification to have it. Loving something is the reason.

5) LASTLY, you don’t decide to have it.
You don’t make the decision. You maybe think you did, but you didn’t. Maybe you think you have, but you haven’t. You’ve maybe made the decision 99%… You know what they say about “close”, it only counts in Horseshoes and Botchy Ball.

If you don’t make a 100% decision, is that really a decision?

What do you want? Decide to have it or do it or be it.

Why don’t we decide? Because in the limited part of our minds, we’re afraid we won’t get it.

Well, you won’t if you never make the decision to have it.

Sometimes you’ve decided things you didn’t even know you decided. How do you know you decided to have them? Because you have them. :)

And yes, I know sometimes it’s a matter of timing; some dreams you shelve as a knowing that will happen but are still ripening in the sun.

And sometimes it doesn’t all just happen overnight. Why? Well, sometimes you wouldn’t appreciate it. Or you appreciate it more when it takes longer.

Be patient. Be honest with yourself. And know that above all, if you would love to have something or do something or be something, you deserve it. You deserve it because you love it.

***knowing yourself = as life itself. The truth of who you are. As the universe. When someone says “it’s all inside you” & what the hell that actually means. Inside & outside. The BIG you. Beyond all limitation and time and space. The “you” that knows no bounds. “And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”


I work with people on really living what I’ve written above because that’s what I do in my own life. I don’t look at my circumstances for what’s possible, I make what’s possible by making a decision to have it.

What it comes down to is you knowing who you truly are. That is a rare desire. If you think it’s your desire, contact me to discover what it entails to start that process with me. I will give you some resources and begin an intensive coaching plan that will radically change how you live your life in every single way.

“I am so grateful to have dedicated myself to working with Kirra. Worth absolutely every penny!” -B.L. New York

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