I once felt safe in love with another, and that kept me held safe, but I didn’t want to be safe with another. I would depend on their existence and do anything for them even at the cost of my own self just to keep my safety.
…I wanted to be safe in myself
I once felt secure by money in my bank, and that held me secure, but I didn’t want to be secure in the bank. Banks changed, money fluctuated… so did my security.
…I wanted to be secure in my soul
I once felt strong in my savvy beliefs, and that held me strong, until I realized a different belief, and so on and so forth, each belief slowly crumbling into another. Belief was an illusion and depended on perspective.
…I wanted to be strong beyond slippery beliefs and partial-truths.
I once wanted to be in love with another, and that kept me busy falling in love, running from relationship to relationship over and over again, looking for “the one” to love me. I believed that if I found someone to love me, I would be happy, but I never found it in another without it drifting, without the excitement fading, without finding they weren’t what I wanted, without the pain of a broken heart or that shiny diamond I could see in someone else… because even when they did love me, I didn’t fully believe them… because I didn’t love myself.
…I wanted to fall in love with “the one” …inside myself.